Both the costuming and performance side of cosplay are wonderful outlets for creatives to express themselves, but if you’re young and living at home – having parents or guardians around might be exasperating if you don’t see eye-to-eye. If you’re getting uncertain side glances, now is a good time to have a talk about cosplay.
Let them know what cosplay is
Parents (or even friends) who don’t have experience with costumes may see cosplay as childish. You can help them understand that cosplay is more than that: cosplay can be casual, it can be competitive, it can be fun, and it can be serious. Regardless, cosplayers are passionate doing what they do.
Explain the benefits of cosplay
Whether you buy or make your cosplay, you use skills that will be useful in real life. Some of those might include: working within a budget, time management, negotiating/bargaining, setting goals, and completing a project by a certain deadline.
The next time your family complains about cosplay being a waste of time, feel free to point that you could be doom scrolling on your phone instead of practicing useful skills.
Make your priorities clear
Family members may be worried that you’ll focus on cosplay instead of studying, doing chores, performing at work etc. This cannot be the case: real world responsibilities come before cosplay. Let your family know that you’ll prioritize smartly and then make sure you follow through.
Get them involved
You might be surprised at how interested they might be in your new hobby and you never know what tricks they might have up their sleeves. For example, my dad loves taking photos, so when I was just starting out, he would take pictures of my costumes.
Take their opinions into consideration
If you are particularly young, your parents or guardians may disagree about whether a costume is age appropriate or not – especially in terms of how much of you the costume covers. As annoying as this may be, let’s try to understand where they are coming from.
There are many unchivalrous people online and at conventions who will not hesitate to make unkind or skeevy remarks at a revealing costume. Even more appalling are the people who will view a revealing costume as an invitation for physical contact.
You may have seen “Cosplay is Not Consent” at conventions, but the sad reality is that revealing costumes will draw all types of attention. When your family opposes a revealing cosplay, they’re thinking of that scenario.
So what can do you?
Maybe consider waiting until you’re a little older before doing more revealing costumes.
I waited until college before making Seras Victoria with her thigh-high socks and mini-skirt.
You can also make designs more modest. I still do this for many of my costumes: raise bustlines slightly, make hemlines a tad bit longer, cover up midriff areas. You can show your appreciation for a character even if the look is 100% canon.
For the Cleric from Disgaea 2, I removed the long side slits and raised the bustline.
Be respectful of their home
If you are making any part of your costume, be mindful of your family’s home – especially shared spaces like the kitchen, living room, or family room.
What can this look like?
- Avoid crafting on surfaces that can’t be cleaned easily – like carpet.
- Use appropriate padding, mats, and boards for cutting or hammering to prevent damaging surfaces.
- Only used approved containers for mixing, soaking, or rinsing. Don’t use your family’s soup pot to dye your fabric.
- Ask before using tools that belong to other family members like sewing machines, sanders, knives etc.
This courtesy should also extend to the residents of the home!
- For loud activities, find a place and/or time that won’t annoy everyone else.
- Before claiming all the floor or table space, make sure people have a clear way of passage and they have space to do their normal activities like homework or eating dinner
- Keep common areas clean. Try to tidy up your craft space at the end of the day.
Let them be chaperones
If your parent or guardian wants to accompany you as a chaperone to a convention or event – I recommend you don’t push the issue the first time around. Let your chaperone join you and get comfortable with the event. Then, the next time you go to the event, you can discuss going without a chaperone once they’ve tried the event themselves.
Before you go to the convention:
- Ask if you’d like them to be your handler if your costume is tricky to navigate. Don’t assume they are OK with handler duties.
- Ask who will be paying for what so you have plenty of time to save for anything that your chaperone isn’t covering.
- Discuss how late you are staying; don’t through a fuss if they say you can’t stay for late night programming
When you arrive at the convention:
- If you are separating for certain parts of the day, make sure you understand when and where you need to be for arranged meetings and what the communication plan is
- Make sure to always connect with your chaperone before changing your plans!
Remember:
- Your chaperone is there to help keep you safe. They are not there to be your pack mule or to hold your place in a line.
- Your behavior at the convention may determine whether you’ll need a chaperone in the future. If you see your chaperone in the halls, be polite, don’t ignore them.
Summary
Starting an extensive hobby like cosplay can cause friction with family members, but with a bit of patience and a healthy serving of mindfulness, you can overcome those hurdles.